Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
