I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
