and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
