Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
