i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
well you can't waste a boner
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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