I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
