who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
