It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
