DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
