the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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