so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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