Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She's the barista slut.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
