yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
