I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
