I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
