Fine. I'll sleep in my office
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Im part way to drunk.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
