Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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