This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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