My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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