I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I think I won the penis lottery.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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