first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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