also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
