You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Hippo gnu deer
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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