Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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