just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I love having hate sex.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
