i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
where am i from again
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
