I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
