At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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