It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
