Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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