May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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