I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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