So drunk, too bad you don't want this
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
