Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
