I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
