everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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