I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
