We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
