A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
