I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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