Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
