i would punch a child for taco bell
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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