bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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