i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
