hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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