i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
