What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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