yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
where does the pee come out of this thing
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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