If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
