so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
