plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
