i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
