Non-Jews are for practice
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
